Ice Cream Man Review: Eli Roth’s Children of the Cone Has All The Structure and Quality of Melted Soft Serve
Images courtesy of StudioCanal.
You scream, I scream, we all should scream at how much AI is in Eli Roth’s Ice Cream Man (2026). Roth’s deteriorating career has led him to implement generative AI in his film, relying on AI visual effects company Dark Half to create a bulk of the film's special effects. Despite not initially disclosing it to audiences, Roth has come out and since admitted to its use throughout the film.
Following the commercial and critical failure of Borderlands (2024), Eli Roth is back with another ‘movie’ that feels like a remake of a Twilight Zone episode that nobody remembers. The film follows the lactose intolerant Jared (Charlie Zeltzer) as he slowly realises that the seemingly harmless Ice Cream Man (Ari Miller) is hypnotising the town’s children into becoming mindless killers by eating his Ice Cream, Man. He’s joined by his pre-teen friend Tommy (Shiloh O’Reilly) and his schoolground crush Mia (Kiori Mirza Waldman) in his quest to save the kids and avenge the dead.
Eli Roth’s Weapons rip-off is terribly written. The writing feels just as AI generated as the visuals, between the stilted and awkward dialogue or outdated Gen Alpha slang –with such relevant quips as someone having “a touch of the ‘tism” and “Rizz”. The overarching story changes constantly on a whim, making the 86 minute movie feel like it stretches on for hours. Despite the awful writing, the performances from the younger actors were surprisingly engaging (especially from Sarah Abbott and Dylan Hawco, who play Jared’s older sister and her Boyfriend), being one of the film’s few saving graces. The film’s structure and story makes it feel as though you’re watching two completely different (but equally bad) movies, first doing too little with its premise (aside from a few gory scenes of kids killing their parents), and then doing too much, taking the story in an oddly fantastical direction (no spoilers) that completely clashes with the established tone of the film.
The movie’s setting is very inconsistent, bashing together 80’s Stranger Things americana with 2020’s Gen Alpha kids. It also claims to be set in a bayside town (which it emphasises by opening on a city limit sign for ‘Bayleen Bay’ with a Jaws-esque shark on it) but uses the aesthetics of a small American northwest town. The plot twist at the end could work in a better film, but due to a lack of build up or foreshadowing it leaves the movie feeling unfinished. This isn’t aided by the tacky freeze frame it ends on before having a goofy ‘the end’ card appear.
Even when the scenes are actually shot on a real camera it’s unremarkable, using stock standard shallow depth of field with a F/4.1 aperture. The visuals are bland and uninspired, using completely AI generated shots generously, as well as for visual effects that make the film look cheaper than most low budget indie horrors despite its $7+ million budget. Around 50% of the gory effects are practical, which still look cheap, tacky and undercooked, but were at least bad things made by humans.
The movie hides behind the façade of being a campy slasher flick, but Roth’s attempt at balancing it with social commentary surrounding institutional power abuse and the effects of phones on children means it doesn’t work on either level. The movie also oddly sexualises Abbott’s character (the daughter of Eli Roth’s cameo character in the film) while she tries to move while paralysed, exclusively relying on low shots of her arching her back while crawling around in grey sweatpants and a low cut top as she’s in a vulnerable position (semi-paralysed).
Eli Roth’s Ice Cream Man is a terrible movie that is a dark omen for the AI slop that could be present in Hollywood films to come. Don’t watch this movie. I have no mouth and Ice must Cream.
Ice Cream Man opens in cinemas August 6th. For tickets and more info, click here.
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